LittleAppleGirl

Imagine, just imagine a vast and beautiful green field, where the blades of grass glisten underneath a beautiful bold sun, that your lucky enough to be shone upon by its sheer beauty, the baby blue sky with not a cloud in sight! Can you see it? Isn't it wonderful? Now just spread your arms out and feel the breeze run through your fingers, like a heard or wild horses running in a perfect rhythm with each other. This is the kind of beauty you could only dream of, the kind of beauty no man could even dream of creating himself, its hard to believe its random, or is it? I blink, close my eyes, open them again, and repeat these eye motions to

Sat alone in my empty box, nothing but darkness to accompany me, am I destined to crawl around in this abyss forever? Touching and feeling around in the darkness for something to hold? To feel? Tired of the tears and pain, and forever falling rain upon my freezing cold body, no warmth or emotion, the basic human need. I slumly sit back into my corner curling into my foetal position for yet another dreamless sleep I pray to never wake up from. But as I go to close my eyes I see a shimmer from the other side of the box, a light,  reaching out, its not so far away, I get onto my knees and crawl over to it and put my hand over the small light

This all feels like a bad dream, and im waiting so impatiently to wake up Inside my head the smaller me is screaming, screaming to run away, All of these stupid things that shouldn't be happening to me, that I don't deserve, yes my mistakes may be many but none justify the punishment I seem to have received. I dream of a place, far, far away from here - were birds sing and hate will become a thing of the past. I don't want to live in fear anymore and what I hold onto is such a tiny chance of a heaven so far from my reach that I can't get any closer to no matter how hard I try, something always blocks the way or comes in-between, but I AM

Sadly I have very little that makes me bother anymore, I couldn't care less for the sun, stars or the moon. At the end of the world I would stand their proudly and say I made it, with you…. I have nothing to be sad about and yet here I am, crying and wishing the misery would stop following me… tearing me between two extremes of my imagination and the only thing that pulls me from the darkness inside my head is you, because your better than the hottest sun and your warm heart makes up for the cold lonely years I spent waiting for you to come, and finally you did and I am slowly beginning to forget all the pain and move on - only t